So, Who's Riding The Mexican Train?

It was late in the morning one perfectly average summer's day, and Rusty the cat was laying in a patch of sunlight that was streaming in through the glass door. His eyes were shut and his tail twitched lazily to a rhythm that only he knew the beat to. As he lay there absorbing the rays, Tank the dog walked up next to him.
"Heya Rusty," said Tank, "you awake?"
Rusty remained silent.
"You awake?"
More silence.
"You awake?"
Rusty sighed irritably.
"What do you want, Tank?" he asked without opening his eyes.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Trying to enjoy life," groaned Rusty.
"Butchoo aren't doing nothin'," Tank said confused.
"If you knew that, why did you ask what I was doing?"
"When I want to enjoy life," Tank continued, ignoring the cat, "I play fetch."
"Tank, you still haven't realized that you're supposed to bring the ball back."
"I don't think you get the game, Rusty. But it's okay 'cause yer a cat."
"Do you have a point, Tank?" asked Rusty.
"Heya Rusty?"
"Yes, Tank?"
"Wanna play?"
"No Tank," replied Rusty, still never having opened his eyes. "I'm sleeping."
"Oh okay," said Tank, and he left the cat to his sunbathing.

I'm The Goddamn Batman. I'm Gonna Be the Best Friend You Could Ever Hope For...

Bats are completely blind, and yet, they know their surroundings perfectly. They know by listening. They are not concerned with what things look like. They just want to know where and what they are.
We can all learn from bats.
Close your eyes and listen. You might learn something new.

Take A Deep Breath, Open Your Eyes, And Close The Book.

A monkey was hanging by its tail upside from a tree. I held a banana in its hands, and ate it happily and lazily. He hummed a tune to himself as he ate. As he hung there, a wolf walked on the path below.
"Hulloo there Wolf," the monkey said with his mouth full. "What are you up to this fine afternoon?"
"Ah, hello Monkey," said Wolf elegantly. "I'm just hunting."
Monkey's eyes widened and he tensed up nervously.
"Not for monkey, I hope...?" he stammered with a nervous smile.
"Haha no, not for monkey. And certainly not for one as odd as you."
"Odd?" said Monkey, offended, "How so?"
"Well," started Wolf, "for one thing, you hang around wrong-side up like that all day."
"Who's to say that I'm the one who's wrong? I have no problems at all living this way. It's no more strange than you living down there and that boring old ground."
"Why, of course it is!" exclaimed Wolf. "Why else do things fall naturally towards the ground, then, if that's not where they are meant to be?"
"Maybe," said Monkey in an uppity voice, "I'm just not as lazy as you are. All good things are worth working for, are they not?"
"Ha!" laughed Wolf. "You are even stranger than I thought, Monkey."
"Think what you want, predator. But I see now downside to being upside down. You're on the wrong side of right side up."
Chuckling haughtily to himself, Wolf began to walk away, but slipped on a banana peel, and landed on his face. The monkey howled with laughter.
"Maybe you were right, Wolf," giggled Monkey, "because the ground is exactly where that was supposed to be."