Tuesday, December 28, 2010

SAMURAI: Acronyms

So, the guys in charge of naming stuff really like acronyms. A lot of the major weapons to come out of the SAMURAI labs are given these absurdly contrived acronyms for names. Hell, even SAMURAI is one: Super-powered Anti-Monster Unit and Robotic Arsenal Initiative. It's kind of ridiculous.

Oh, by the way, my name is... actually very classified. But what I can tell you, is that I am the pilot of the
Winged Assault and Response Robotic Interface, Omni Rank, also known as the WARRIOR. See?  Acronyms.

The WARRIOR is the best giant robot in the SAMURAI organization, and I'm the best pilot. It has more guns than you'd care to know about, it can bench press the moon, and it can fly. It also looks like some sort of bad-ass mechanical shogun, so that helps too.

I'm currently about to arrive in Nagasaki, where a giant two-headed electric snake monster is about to come ashore. The monster is the standard hundreds-of-feet tall, jet black, with a white belly and spikes that start at the heads and run down to the end of the tail. Of course, it also has intimidatingly large fangs protruding from its mouth. It's swinging its tail wildly around the beach, tossing bolts of electricity randomly to nearby conductive objects. It lunges with both heads down at the civilians who are running in terror. The heads don't seem to be working together, however, as they frequently try to move in opposite directions at the same time, preventing them from achieving any of their goals, though they do manage to swallow a few beach-goers.

It kill my rear thrusters and come in for a landing on my giant robot feet, just in front of the two-headed lightning snake. I waste no time and fire two large rockets from my robotic wrists straight into both faces. The monster tumbles backward unsteadily but shakes it off. Both faces lock their eyes on me. That was a poor choice. Now I've given it something to focus on.

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